Fools Reunited

You get a tune in your head?

This time it's my own fault for posting "QUESTIONS...QUESTIONS...QUESTIONS"

This Johnny Nash song has now invaded my brain:

There are more questions than answers
Pictures in my mind I will not show
There are more questions than answers
And the more I find out, the less I know
Yeh, the more I find out, the less I know

I've asked the question time and time again
Why is there so little love among men?
But what is life, how do we live?
What should we take and how much should we give?

Oh, there are more questions than answers
Pictures in my mind I will not show
There are more questions than answers
And the more I find out, the less I know
Yeh, the more I find out, the less I know

Oh, yeah
Oh, what is life, how do we live?
Oh, what should we take and how much should we give?

There are more questions than answers
They're just pictures in my mind I will not show
There are more questions than answers
And the more I find out, the less I know
Yeh, the more I find out, the less I know

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS IMPROMPTU MUSICAL INTERVAL!

Now I know that I'll not the brightest blogger on the blog but I do beleive in self improvement. Why do people stay ignorant when all they have to do is ask? "That is a good question" I hear you say (well I heard someone say it anyway!!)

Anyway actions speak louder than words so I'm now going to embark on some self improvement. I think I'll call it "Dafter's Open House" DOH for short.

I'm going to stick out my neck (whatever that means??) and jot down a few questions that have been puzzling me for ages.

THINGS I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW BUT DAREN’T ASK

• If Teflon is a nonsticky substance, how did they get it to stick to the pan?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Who invented the happy face, and did he do time for it?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
• What is the Leaning Tower of Pisa for?
• What do Scotsmen wear under those kilts?
• Can some people extinguish street lamps by force of their bodily emanations?
• Is the U.S. government really hiding alien spaceships in Area 51?
• If you swim less than hour after eating, will you get cramps and die?
• What's the difference between a Looney Tune and a Merrie Melody?
• Can I see a Munchkin committing suicide in The Wizard of Oz?
• Will watching too much TV ruin your eyes?
• Is it aerodynamically impossible for bumblebees to fly?
• Why do parachute jumpers yell "Geronomo"?
• Was The Texas Chain Saw Massacre based on actual events?
• Did medieval lords really have "the right of the first night"?
• How do astronauts go to the bathroom in space?
• How can they have Interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Can people really hear radio broadcasts through their teeth?
• Is there a place called Podunk?
• What does Queen Elizabeth carry in that purse?
• Who decided we have to put up yellow ribbons every time there's a war?
• What was Barney Rubble's job?
• So how do porcupines mate?
• How did they get Mr. Ed to talk?
• Did brontosauri really have a second brain in their behinds?
• What is a mojo, anyway?
• Is it true Thanksgiving was invented by the editor of Harper's Bazaar?
• Why do your fingers and toes wrinkle in the bathtub?
• Is it true turkeys are so dumb they will look up at the sky when it rains and drown?
• What are the real lyrics to "Louie, Louie"?
• Is it true what they say about Catherine the Great and the horse?
• Does the Vatican really have the world's largest pornography collection?
• What are the nine Eskimo words for snow?
• Why do men have nipples?
• What does the 'H' stand for in Jesus H. Christ?
• Why do pigeons bob their heads?
• Why does fluff collect in your navel?
• If all one billion Chinese got up on chairs and jumped off at the same time, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?
• Why are yawns contagious?
• How do they get the M on MMs?
• Why does it hurt to chew on an aluminium-foil spitball?

ANSWERS (OR MORE QUESTIONS) ON A COMMENT PLEASE!